J. Moore's Rules for Summer Cookouts

This is a very serious time in our world, on going war in the middle east, fractured economies in Europe and the election of a lifetime right here in The United States. If you want to read about that click on the Huffington Post link. It's about to be a long weekend and I'm using my first blog in years to impart some wisdom on you individuals who don't know how to act when are invited to someone's home for Summer holiday gathering. Listed below are some rules you need to follow so that next summer you are not looking at Instagram pictures of other people having a good time.

1. If you bring a bottle of liquor with you, It now belongs to the house.

This one gets violated way too often. If you fall trough with a bottle of Ciroc or anything else you have seen in a rap video as of late, you don't get to take it with you when you leave or when the party is over. Also don't show up with a half bottle of liquor you just had lying around the house unless it's some good scotch. I will  have no problem helping to finish that off but do everyone a favor and keep that quarter of a bottle of  Fireball at home.

2. Don't bring your goofy kids to adult only gathering.

I know you think your kids are smart, talented, and special but there is a good chance they are none of those things to people who do not love them. My mindset may change when I have children of my own but since I am still the undefeated intercontinental pull out champion, I would prefer not to be around children at an adult only gathering. 

3. Even if you don't mean it, ask if you can bring something.

It is always appreciated when someone asks this question and if you are a good host you have things covered. If asked, requests like bottled water another bag of ice or some plastic cups are reasonable. I blame this violation on people have been burned by lame party hosts who when asked this question, reply with outrageous answers like a 20 pound bag of charcoal, a couple of packages of chicken wings, a stereo, or some hoes. 

4. Don't complain about the music.

I like Kirk Franklin.....OK, I'm lying like shit. Past "Stomp", I don't really know his music like that. If you do, perhaps coming over to my house to hang out may not be the best look for you. My playlist usually includes 90's Hip-Hop with all of the curses intact, some contemporary ratchet music for the ladies sprinkled with some of Jodeci's greatest hits to smooth things out. Asking someone to change the music in their own house is worse than making a request in the club.

5. Now is not the time to learn how to play cards or dominoes.

Step away from the table my if you have a bunch of questions about what is going on. I have seen friendships and family bonds break down on the card table

6. Your significant other is your only +1.

If someone invites you over to kick it, it's a fair assumption that your lady/man is also invited but it ends there. Don't fall through with your cousin who just got out of the joint, or that cool girl you just met at the strip club. It's also a bad look to run up on the host of the party and ask, "Can so and so fall through?" Chances are the host of the party hooked up just enough food and liquor for the people they wanted to be there, and "so and so" may have not been invited for a good reason like he just got out of prison or hangs out with girls in the strip club. 

This Is What Every Lil' Wayne Song Sounds Like To Me

                                                   

Lil' Wayne is not a good rapper. The only people who think he is are kids who are not old enough to buy cigarettes, people who try to kick knowledge based off of things they have seen on Worldsatar, Hip-Hop fans my age who are afraid of growing up and being branded "old school", and white people who are going through a phase.

I was at my parent's house a couple of weeks ago for Father's day and my mother told me to take anything I did not want thrown away back to Indianapolis. In an old Timberland's box were some CDs I had forgotten about, one of them being Ras Kass' second album Rassassination. It wasn't a fantastic record but it was solid considering the growing pains Hi-Hop was going through in 1998. One of the best things on this record was a skit called Coogi Sweatsuit which I believed at the the time was a lampoon on all of the terrible records coming from No Limit Records at the time.

What I didn't know was that Ras Kass was actually predicting the future shittiness of mainstream rap in 2013. Listen to the first minute of this skit and tell me it does not remind you of something Lil Wayne would try to push on radio? Before you say "no" let me remind you that his most recent hits are titled "Bitches Love Me" and "Rich As Fuck."

This Happened And We Let It Happen

Sorry I have been gone for so long. My new job requires me to pay a lot more attention to what is going on now than my old one, so that leaves less time for blogging and watching funny pet videos on youtube.

Anyway, I was somewhere discussing the pockets of shittiness that have popped up during different eras of Hip-Hop and you can't have a discussion like this without the group Harlem World coming up. If you don't remember them, they are a group that Mase put together at the height of his popularity that was so bad that Puff Daddy wanted nothing to do with them, so Mase struck a deal with So So Def and put this album out. Shortly after, Mase gave up the rap game to be a minister until he realized that that he really was not good at that either.

I actually listened to that album when it came out and this is easily the best song on the entire record. As much as I don't like this song I loved the video. I think that was due in large part to the fact that there are more black cheerleaders in this video than I saw during my 4 years in high school and with all colorful circus shit going on, there are still mentions of shootings, drug dealing, and lesbian sex acts. Ahhh, it's good to be back.

On This Day

I have to work on Martin Luther King's birthday and I have for the past several years. So just like I have done in past years I will be donating today's salary to a non-for profit organization that I feel advances the principals of justice and fairness that Dr. King fought and died for. Last year my donation was to the Innocence Project and I decided after what I saw happen to Troy Davis this past year that I will be donating to them again this year. My small gesture may not free anyone who has been wrongly imprisoned, but hopefully it will inspire others who believe in justice and fairness to reflect opon Dr. King's contribution to the world, to perhaps make a contribution of their own instead of using today strictly for liesure.

This Christmas

J.MOORE'S Super Soulful Christmas.

Even my Jewish friends like this mix of classic soul Christmas songs. This compilation is I-Pod ready or you can burn it to CD. If you are tired of rocking around the Christmas tree, you need this in your life.

Heavy D 1967-2011

Dwight Errington Myers a.k.a Heavy D passed away earlier today at age 44. I remember being sad when I heard about Pac, Biggie, and Jam Master J dying, but there is something about hearing about Heavy D passing away that is like a punch to the stomach. Maybe it was all of the positive things he said on twitter, or maybe it was that I have never heard one bad thing about him from anybody in the industry. For all the shit I feel like BET gets wrong, it made me so happy that he got the people off of their feet like it was the early 90's again during their last Hip-Hop awards show. Below is a re post of a blog I wrote last September, I tried to give him his roses while he could smell them.

VH-1 does a Hip-Hop Honors show which gets worse and worse each year. I remember telling someone a couple of years ago, if they ever get around to honoring Master P they should just shut the show down, and what did they do this year? They honored Master P!

One person who should have got his due way before Master P was Heavy D. In a 10 year span (87 to 97) he released 6 albums 3 gold, and 3 platinum. He collaborated with Michael and Janet Jackson. He had a hand in putting on Pete Rock & CL Smooth & The Notorious BIG. As a performer he danced at a time when other rappers were too hardcore to dance and have a good time and he did it without ever being corny. Considering he was a big man, his breath control on the mic was incredible. He never had to rap over a backing track like so many of today's rappers who barely move when they are on stage. Heavy D also made the transition from artist to label head more than a decade before Jay-Z, taking over Uptown Records after Andre Harell left in 1996. During this time he put out hit records by Soul For Real & Monifa.

The thing is everything I mentioned just pertained to music, Heavy also did his thing on the big screen, small screen and on the stage as an actor. Unlike Master P, Heavy D never did never did anything desperate to remain relevant, his music is still good today, and most importantly he never did anything to embarrass his people. The ill thing is they will probably wind up honoring the guy who invented spinning rims or Lil' Bow Wow before anyone give Heavy D his due.

This Is Not Shôtarô Kaneda!

When I heard that Hollywood would be making a live action movie of the classic manga & anime Akira, I thought "wow, how are they going to fuck this up?" Well, I got my answer. In typical Hollywood fashion they are casting a film based on a story surrounding a group of Japanese teenagers with a bunch of white people in their late 20's and 30's. The fact that Justin Timberlake was even being considered for the role is weird and disheartening. He was probably going to cost too much money, so the role is apparently going to the guy who played Sam Flynn in Tron Legacy. I was going to use his picture but I don't really care to look up his name again and a picture of Justin Timberlake is probably much better for web traffic. Anyway, they should just make the movie and call it something else because calling it Akira with no Asian lead actors is insulting to the fans of the source material and to people's intelligence.

Now This Is Funny

Hey both of you who read this blog, I have been busy doing actual work at my place of employment so I have not had the proper amount of time to space out and write about things no one really cares about. Well, that busy time is over and I am back on my bullshit.

Epic Photo Of The Week

I don't care what song Freddie Mercury was singing in this picture but it probably seemed like the most incredible shit ever to anyone who was at this concert. I need this on a t-shirt.

Deal With It!

This will always be funny to me. White Santa Claus is not for that bullshit!

10 Random Songs Wednesday

Doowhop by Blu feat. Planet Asia & Killa Ben The rest of the Jesus LP is pretty hit and miss but this track is one of the best Hip-Hop songs of 2011. It was produced by the Alchemist.

Steppin' To The A.M. by 3rd Bass I used to have the Cactus Album on tape and this song stayed in heavy rotation, well at least it did in my room when I was 12. These guys were nothing like the Beastie Boys which were at the time the only other white act in Hip-Hop.

Lose Your Way by Nicolay feat. Carlita Durand This song is what being happily single on a Friday night at the start of summer sounds like. Carlita Durand has such a pretty voice.

Popcorn Love by New Edition Some songs just make you happy when you hear them. For me this is one of those songs.

Dare by Stan Bush This is the other Stan Bush song on the Transformers The Movie Soundtrack. It is so fantastically cheesy that if you are driving when it comes on you might start speeding.

Glaciers Of Ice by Raekwon, Ghostface Killa & Masta Killa I heard this song on St. Louis' underground Hip-Hop show on KDHX and went to Chestefield Mall the next day and bought the cassette single. Nobody was touching the RZA at this time. Masta Killa's verse was and is still my favorite on the song.

Get Up by Amel Larriex When I worked in commercial radio, I loved it when songs like this made it into rotation. The second single she put out from the Infinite Possibilities album was a remix to "Sweet Misery" which also made rotation. Neither of these songs were big hits but at least the station where I was working gave them a shot.

Best I Ever Had by Drake There was a time when Drake was somebody people rooted for. That was a long time ago. This is still a great song and the video which featured all of those light skinned girls with big titties was pretty fantastic.

Other Side Of The Game by Erykah Badu This is one of those songs that will never get old because the groove is undeniable. That said, it is a song about a woman who is in love with a fool who would rather sell dope to support his growing family because it is easier than getting up everyday and going to a legit job.

Your Hands by Marsha Ambrosius If I was still making slow jam tapes like I did back in the day, this song along with so many others off of Late Nights & Early Mornings would be on there. I hope we don't have to wait to long before we get another album from her.

Meet Rep. John Fleming (R-La)

"By the time I feed my family, I maybe have $400,000 left over" This is his explanation on why as a “small business owner” he can’t afford a tax increase. He was not making a joke, he was dead serious. Even Latrell Sprewell thinks this guy is out of touch.

Who Greenlights This Foolishness?

Between Gucci Mane and Master P, I hope this movie will have English subtitles so the average person will be able to understand what is going on. The constant flow of movies like this is why I can't bring myself to be angry at Tyler Perry movies.

How Is This Still Cool?

I just want you to look at the picture above for a moment. Pretty messed up, right? I thought the same thing while knocking back a Fat Tire at a restaurant while watching baseball highlights a couple of weeks ago when this image came up on the screen.

For those of you who do not follow professional baseball this is the logo for the Cleveland Indians. This is not an old logo from the 30's and 40's but the one that adorns almost all of their official paraphernalia today in 2011. It's bad enough that the majority of the people who would be offended by this have been killed off but to continually mock them with this logo is just cruel and insensitive. I know someone reading this may think I am being too sensitive and that this is not a big deal, but what if there was a logo like this representing your nationality of ethnic group? Replacing the feather with a sombrero and putting a joint in between those over sized teeth would surely upset some of my Hispanic friends, I am pretty sure throwing a Yamaka on this logo with some side locks would be a tad unsettling to my Jewish brothers & sisters, and I would be on the phone with the quickness to Al Sharpton if a Major League Baseball team changed it's logo to Lil' Wayne's face.

If Mississippi State a.k.a. Ole' Miss can change their logo from a confederate soldier to a rebel black bear and stop singing "the south will rise again" when the football team scores a touchdown, I think The Cleveland Indians organization should sack up and seriously consider changing this.

Watch The Throne

I was going to write a review of Jay-Z & Kanye West's Watch The Throne album that everybody is talking about/hating on, until I realized that there is no point. I stumbled on this picture in my collection of cool images I have stolen off of the Internet over the years and I think watch the throne in a perfect caption for this photo.

Elzhi

It's one thing to remake a classic Hip-Hop song but to remake what many fans consider to be one of the best Hip-Hop albums of all time is a task I didn't think anyone could or for that matter should try to pull off. That said, you probably can't tell someone who worked with the great J. Dilla about what can't be done. Former Slum Village member Elzhi's Elmatic is a fantastic tribute to Nas' Illmatic but it also stands on it's own as a great album.

When I saw that he was going on a small US tour with a live band that would be kicking off in Indianapolis, August 19th at The Jazz Kitchen, I got a ticket immediately. If you have not heard this album yet it can be downloaded for free at Elzhi's Official Site, and there is a limited edition double LP version pressed up on vinyl that is available at Fatbeats.

Common & Nas

Common is in my top 5 and I really needed him to put something like this out to make me forget about his last album.

Dickmotized!!!

I watched this at least 5 times in a row just to hear her say dickmotized.

This Is How You Promote An Album!

If you didn't know, Stevie Wonder had the streets on lock in the 4th quarter of 76' and for most of 1977. If you have never heard this album, get your life in order and seek it out.

Men Lie, Women Lie..

.., numbers don't! Something many of you would probably never guess about me is that is that I am a fiscal conservative. That reason alone is why I have never voted for a Republican presidential candidate. Happy Birthday President Obama.

Big Meech

Demetrius "Big Meech" Flenory will be in federal prison until 2038 and will be 70 years old when he gets out. If you know a kid who sings along to Rick Ross' "BMF", remind them of this and then go tell them to read a book.

Only Wilt Could Pull This Off

This is a really gay outfit Wilt Chamberlin has on. Now, I don't mean gay like you hear it being used on a basketball court or through your headphones when you are playing COD: Black Ops over Xbox Live but gay like if I saw a dude dressed like this in downtown Indianapolis, It would be a pretty good bet that they are looking for a meaningful romantic relationship with another man. With all that said, if you are reading this there is a good chance Wilt had sex with your aunt and like a true player never called her again.

What An Effen' Deal!

An Atari game that was also a 8-Track tape of Foghat Live!?!? Tape Barn's promotions department was not fooling around. As cool as this is, the father in this ad is entirely to excited about his purchase.

Kreayshawn

Someone asked me recently what I thought about Kreayshawn and her White Girl Mob movement. Well, I feel like the overall vibe is pretty lame but like most people her age there is a pretty good chance she was raised on lame Hip-Hop. Now, I am not going to lie I am mildly entertained by this song, especially the line "bitch you ain't no Barbie, I seen you work at Arby's." That part actually makes me laugh out loud. I could go on and on, but the below quote pretty much sums up how I feel about this so called movement.

"Everybody wants to be a nigga, but nobody wants to be a nigga" -Paul Mooney

So I Creep

Much love goes out to all of my international readers from The United Kingdom, Turkey, France, India, Germany and all points in between. By looking at my blog stats, most of you were researching fake ass polo shirts and it lead you here. Since my worldwide profile is on the rise I decided to post a creepy picture of myself and two pretty girls.