J. Moore's Rules for Summer Cookouts

This is a very serious time in our world, on going war in the middle east, fractured economies in Europe and the election of a lifetime right here in The United States. If you want to read about that click on the Huffington Post link. It's about to be a long weekend and I'm using my first blog in years to impart some wisdom on you individuals who don't know how to act when are invited to someone's home for Summer holiday gathering. Listed below are some rules you need to follow so that next summer you are not looking at Instagram pictures of other people having a good time.

1. If you bring a bottle of liquor with you, It now belongs to the house.

This one gets violated way too often. If you fall trough with a bottle of Ciroc or anything else you have seen in a rap video as of late, you don't get to take it with you when you leave or when the party is over. Also don't show up with a half bottle of liquor you just had lying around the house unless it's some good scotch. I will  have no problem helping to finish that off but do everyone a favor and keep that quarter of a bottle of  Fireball at home.

2. Don't bring your goofy kids to adult only gathering.

I know you think your kids are smart, talented, and special but there is a good chance they are none of those things to people who do not love them. My mindset may change when I have children of my own but since I am still the undefeated intercontinental pull out champion, I would prefer not to be around children at an adult only gathering. 

3. Even if you don't mean it, ask if you can bring something.

It is always appreciated when someone asks this question and if you are a good host you have things covered. If asked, requests like bottled water another bag of ice or some plastic cups are reasonable. I blame this violation on people have been burned by lame party hosts who when asked this question, reply with outrageous answers like a 20 pound bag of charcoal, a couple of packages of chicken wings, a stereo, or some hoes. 

4. Don't complain about the music.

I like Kirk Franklin.....OK, I'm lying like shit. Past "Stomp", I don't really know his music like that. If you do, perhaps coming over to my house to hang out may not be the best look for you. My playlist usually includes 90's Hip-Hop with all of the curses intact, some contemporary ratchet music for the ladies sprinkled with some of Jodeci's greatest hits to smooth things out. Asking someone to change the music in their own house is worse than making a request in the club.

5. Now is not the time to learn how to play cards or dominoes.

Step away from the table my if you have a bunch of questions about what is going on. I have seen friendships and family bonds break down on the card table

6. Your significant other is your only +1.

If someone invites you over to kick it, it's a fair assumption that your lady/man is also invited but it ends there. Don't fall through with your cousin who just got out of the joint, or that cool girl you just met at the strip club. It's also a bad look to run up on the host of the party and ask, "Can so and so fall through?" Chances are the host of the party hooked up just enough food and liquor for the people they wanted to be there, and "so and so" may have not been invited for a good reason like he just got out of prison or hangs out with girls in the strip club.