Red Meat Is My Heroin

In an attempt to be healthier, I've tried to cut red meat and pork out of my diet. I have to do something because I am damn sure not giving up whiskey & cigars. Now, I said tried because I’m not yet strong enough to turn down a good barbecue or the occasional pepperoni pizza. (Sidenote: Turkey pepperoni is really good, but no one uses it.) I can usually ease my red meat & pork meat fix by making myself turkey burgers and grilled chicken, but just like the crack did to Pookie sometimes real hamburgers be calling me. Today was one of those days. I was out and about minding my own business when one of the most notorious pushers in the game Rally's made me an offer I could not refuse, 2 double cheese burgers for 3 dollars! I started remembering all of the good times we had together back in the day when I was on that red heavy, and Rally's used to know how to make me feel so good, so I gave Rally’s my money and quickly came home so I have my fix. I told myself that I was going to only eat one of the burgers and save the other one for later, but it got so good to me that I ate both of them.

Shortly after my high wore off, I remembered why I had been avoiding the blocks where Rally's and his peoples slang their product. I was all of the sudden real sleepy, my stomach began to hurt, there was a dull pain in my shoulder, and I developed a headache. Despite all of this I kind of wish I had another burger.

This is a post from the blog I let die a couple of years ago. I still have no red meat or pork in my house and I have not had Rally's in I don't know how long. That said, I could not leave that Christmas brisket alone last month when I was at my mom & dad's house!